<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Soliscence by SeedSerotiny</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22756834">Soliscence</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeedSerotiny/pseuds/SeedSerotiny'>SeedSerotiny</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Fluff, It's the wedding episode, Tooth-Rotting Fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:15:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,051</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22756834</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeedSerotiny/pseuds/SeedSerotiny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lapis had nearly everything. A home, her freedom, and Peridot, the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. </p>
<p>But she still hadn’t had a damn wedding. </p>
<p>Takes place four years after the end of Pyrohydriscence.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Soliscence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy Valentine's day</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It's been forever. You are killing me,” Steven groaned, slumping pitifully until he was in danger of oozing out of the kitchen chair. “I am being murdered.”</p>
<p>“Where’s the rush?” Lapis asked, smirking while she half-heartedly pecked away at the keyboard, barely trying to focus on her plant phylogeny homework. What do the kids say nowadays? ‘Cs get degrees?’</p>
<p>“The rush? The rush!?” Steven exclaimed, slamming his hands on the table. “You two have been engaged for four years! More than four years! And still no wedding!” His face was a mask of theatrical outrage.</p>
<p>Peridot gave Pumpkin a few soothing pats in her seat across from the dramatic young man. “You’re giving the rabbit a spook, Steven.”</p>
<p>He returned to his previous despondent slump and crossed his arms. “Pumpkin is on my side. He understands. Don’t you Pumpkin?”</p>
<p>Pumpkin nibbled on Peridot’s sleeve.</p>
<p>“See?”</p>
<p>Lapis stood up from her desk chair to pat Steven on the back. “Hey, it’s okay buddy, it’ll happen. Life got busy, okay? You’ll be the first person we tell when we have a date, promise.”</p>
<p>Steven’s grumble was slightly muffled from the way his face was smushed into his folded arms. Lapis tried not to giggle. His fits were always at least a little bit adorable.</p>
<p>Peridot leaned forward to rest a hand on his shoulder. “And we’re going to let you plan the whole thing, remember? You’ll like that, right?”</p>
<p>“Mhmm,” he replied, a little less melancholy.</p>
<p>“It’ll happen, we promise,” Lapis assured him.</p>
<p>“It’s just!” Steven said, lifting himself up from his face-planted position. “You guys are so happy together, and I’m so excited, and I can’t wait to see you all dressed up and happy and celebrating your amazing love story.” He paused to huff dramatically, then blurted, “and I want to wear a suit and dance with Connie!”</p>
<p>The fiancées exchanged an amused glance. “We know. It’s gonna be great. Don’t worry about it.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Steven said, still less-than-chipper. He stood up. “Anyway, I’ve got to get to class. Thanks for letting me come over and be sad on your kitchen table.”</p>
<p>Lapis chuckled. “Anytime.” She wrapped him in a hug. Her spine cracked when he hugged her back warmly. Jeez, the boy had gotten strong over the last few years. What were they feeding him?</p>
<p>Wisely, Peridot chose to give him a safer side hug before he said his goodbyes and left. </p>
<p>The door to the loft clicked shut.</p>
<p>They turned to each other slowly with narrowed eyes. </p>
<p>“Why do you choose to hurt our poor child,” Lapis pouted.</p>
<p>“What!” Peridot squeaked, “this is your fault, you stubborn–”</p>
<p>“Stubborn!”</p>
<p>“That’s right! I met him first!”</p>
<p>“That doesn’t mean anything,” Lapis said, crossing her arms. “I proposed first, I get dibs.”</p>
<p>“What!? I bought the rings!”</p>
<p>“You can’t buy your way to victory!” </p>
<p>Their eyes met with practiced glares. This was an age old debate, started a few months after the two of them had gotten engaged: an unreachable decision that resulted in a years-long marital stalemate. </p>
<p>To be fair, the two of them hadn’t felt any real urgency to get a piece of paper declaring that they were a couple. It was a bit stuffy and traditional for the two of them. They knew they were committed and, despite the occasional petty tiff regarding this subject, their relationship had been nothing but happy and healthy since they exchanged rings. The wedding was just a formality.</p>
<p>But if there was to be a wedding, there was an important detail that these two bullheaded idiots could not agree on.</p>
<p>“But I really, really want him to be my best man,” Peridot whined pitifully. </p>
<p>Lapis responded with an equally immature pout, “he’s mine, you wretch.”</p>
<p>“Wretch,” Peridot grumbled, moving to pull Lapis into her arms.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Lapis said, resting her hands on Peridot’s waist. “And a fiend. A jerk, too.”</p>
<p>“You’re a bully,” she replied, the grouchiness leaving her voice and turning to affection.</p>
<p>Lapis smiled to herself. This argument usually ended this way, with soft touches and playful banter, and, if she were lucky, a little more. </p>
<p>Peridot’s forehead bumped against hers. “Why won’t you share, devil woman?”</p>
<p>“We can’t share, there can only be one,” Lapis cooed.</p>
<p>“Greedy,” Peridot said, digging ticklish fingers into her sides with mock aggression. Lapis was going to give her a playful shove, when a thought bubbled up into her mind. </p>
<p>“Share…” she said, standing up straight. Why hadn’t she thought of this before? It was so obvious, so perfect. And Steven would be absolutely delighted. </p>
<p>Peridot looked at her quizzically. </p>
<p>“We could share!” Lapis exclaimed again, beaming.</p>
<p>“What? We talked about this. He has to stand to one side, we can’t just say he’s the best man to us both, it’d be an empty gesture.”</p>
<p>Lapis shook her head. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. What if he didn’t stand to one side. What if he stood in the middle?”</p>
<p>“The officiant has to stand in the middle, though.”</p>
<p>Lapis watched her expectantly.</p>
<p>Peridot’s face lit up with sudden comprehension. “Oh. Oh! The officiant!”</p>
<p>She clasped Peridot’s hands in hers. “Dove, would it be okay with you if Steven performed our wedding?”</p>
<p>“Holy shit,” the shorter woman breathed, “absolutely. Oh wow, he’s going to flip.” </p>
<p>Lapis laughed. “Oh, he absolutely is. We might have to prepare a fainting couch.”</p>
<p>Peridot scrambled out of her grasp to Lapis’s slight disappointment. Maybe she should have waited to share her idea until after they had kissed and made up. The computer chair slid wildly as the nerd Lapis had proposed to flung herself into it. Research must be done. “There has to be like, an online thing right? Everything’s an online thing now.”</p>
<p>With a small sigh in memoriam of interrupted canoodling, Lapis pulled up a chair beside her to help. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>“This was criminally easy,” Lapis said, looking over the papers one last time before she sealed the envelope.</p>
<p>“Shush! They’re walking up, close the thing,” Peridot scolded, swatting at her from the driver’s seat while she looked out the window with alarm. Steven and Connie were strolling up the sidewalk to meet them at the curb. They’d all kept the habit of these occasional double dates since the first one at the fair (the fair the fair), so this trip wasn’t too out of the ordinary from the other couple’s perspective. </p>
<p>“I’m just saying, like, shouldn’t this have required more work? Why do churches charge so much for this stuff? It took, like, two weeks. Why isn’t everyone an ordained–”</p>
<p>“Hushhhhh,” Peridot hissed. “What if they hear you through the door?”</p>
<p>“Peridot, if they catch on, it’s going to be because you’re sweating through your shirt, not because I’m privately discussing the implications of purchasing a license for–”</p>
<p>“Quiet! And jeez, sorry for being nervous during something to do with our wedd–oh hi guys!” Peridot pivoted mid-sentence from anxiety to strained cheerfulness as the back doors opened and Connie and Steven piled into the back seat. Lapis held her breath to avoid laughing. </p>
<p>“Where are we going for the surprise?” Steven cheered, oblivious to Peridot’s tense posture and the strained pursing of Lapis’s lips.</p>
<p>“Well,” Lapis said, clearing her throat, “telling you would be kind of besides the point, right?”</p>
<p>“But!” He objected.</p>
<p>“What’s the occasion? You guys usually don’t make it a mystery.” Connie asked, curious. </p>
<p>A tiny noise emitted from Peridot, prompting Lapis to rescue her. “We just wanted to entertain some old friends,” she lied. She squeezed her fiancée’s hand, hoping the small comfort would decrease Peridot’s nervous vibrating. It worked… a little.</p>
<p>In the back seat, Steven started bouncing up and down. “Okay! Hurry then! I’m dying a little.”</p>
<p>“I think the driver is, too,” Lapis said quietly, so that only Peridot could hear. She received a small glare as a reward for her snark.</p>
<p>With a shaky breath, Peridot started the car and ferried them to their destination while Steven and Connie pestered them for clues from the back seat.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Soon enough, they had arrived. </p>
<p>The building had that sort of modern, boxy style that communicates ‘upscale’ in a shopping plaza. Next door were some similar clothing shops, a terribly expensive ice cream place, and a bakery that sold 10 dollar macaroons. Lapis felt her first tinge of matrimonial financial pain. </p>
<p>“Here,” Peridot croaked.</p>
<p>“Are we getting fancy sweets?” Steven asked. He seemed puzzled. They’d gone out to places like this before without the pomp of mysterious destinations. </p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Shopping?” Connie guessed, a little cheerfully. Connie and Lapis had bonded over the years by virtue of enjoying some occasional feminine fashion, which was a rare trait among their circle of friends. They made a sport of playfully making fun of the poor boys and butches they surrounded themselves with while they sorted through the offerings of mall and thrift store women’s sections. </p>
<p>“A certain kind of shopping,” Lapis replied, “you’ll understand what kind when you read this.” </p>
<p>As calmly as she could, she handed Steven the first envelope.</p>
<p>He raised an eyebrow as he took it, holding it between him and Connie. It was small and unmarked. With one last glance at the other couple, he opened it and started reading aloud.</p>
<p>“You are warmly invited to the wedding of Peridot Farrin and Lapis Lazuli on this July 6th at the Beach City Country Club. Ceremony to be officiated by–” Steven looked up at the two of them so quickly Lapis worried about the structural integrity of his neck. Connie covered her mouth with her hands.</p>
<p>“Well, why’d you stop?” Peridot asked, happiness overriding her anxiety for a moment.</p>
<p>“Officiated by, officiated by–” Steven stuttered, looking down at the small piece of paper in wonder.</p>
<p>“Officiated by their dearest friend Steven Universe,” Connie read quietly.</p>
<p>Lapis handed him the second envelope. In the slow movements of someone in shock, he retrieved the paper inside. It was his official certificate of ordination, generously provided by a non-denominational church and the wonders of the internet.</p>
<p>“If that’s alright with you,” Lapis said, knowing the answer.</p>
<p>“If that’s alright with me?” Steven crowed, shaken out of his stunned silence. “Lapis, Peridot,” he laughed, pulling them into a hug as best he could while leaning between the front seats of the tiny car, “of course it’s alright with me! This is the best thing that’s ever happened, ever.”</p>
<p>Peridot choked in his tight squeeze. Lapis battled with a few unexpected tears. It was hard not to become a little sentimental after years of Steven’s contagious warm-heartedness.  She wiped her eyes quickly when he released her.</p>
<p>“That’s why we’re here,” Connie said, pointing to the building they had, indeed, come here for. “We’re buying wedding clothes!”</p>
<p>Steven took one look out the window toward the formal attire store, complete with a fleet of wedding dresses in the window, and screamed. He had lead Connie out of the car by the hand before the other two could blink. </p>
<p>Lapis rubbed at her ears and glanced at Peridot. “I think he might be more excited than we are,” she joked, trying to ease the emotion of the moment with some levity. </p>
<p>“No,” Peridot said, pulling Lapis’s left hand to her lips and leaving a gentle kiss there, “he couldn't be more excited than I am.” With a warm smile, Peridot exited the car, following after the younger couple. </p>
<p>Lapis waited for her stomach to stop flipping before she joined them.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>When she walked through the doors, Steven was already badgering a worker with a long winded description of the sort of dresses and suits they were looking for. Lapis grinned. Their wedding planner was wasting no time. She didn’t mind; this was much more his wheelhouse than hers. If he wasn’t here, she would probably have attended her wedding in whatever dress of hers had the fewest number of wrinkles in it on the morning of the ceremony. To entertain herself, she slid up next to Connie and absent-mindedly browsed a row of bridesmaid’s dresses. </p>
<p>“See anything you like? If you have a preference, you better tell Steven now, before he moves on from me and Peridot’s outfits.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Connie said with a touch of pensiveness. Lapis looked up to find her not looking at the row of colorful layers of fabric. </p>
<p>“Connie? You okay?” Lapis asked. Connie wasn’t much prone to solemn wistful gazes. It was concerning. </p>
<p>As if she had just remembered where she was, Connie snapped to attention. “Hm, what? Yeah, I’m fine. Great, even, I’m so happy for you two! And that was so nice what you did for Steven. You know, he was worried about whose best man he was going to be.” The young woman chuckled lightly. </p>
<p>Steven’s voice interrupted them to ask Connie’s opinion between two slightly different colored gowns. She smiled at Lapis and trotted off to join him. Lapis was still a little puzzled. What was that about? She took a glance in the direction that Connie had been staring, wondering what she had been looking at, if anything. </p>
<p>Still strange. The only thing in that direction was what you’d expect, just a few displays of wedding dresses. </p>
<p>Her investigation was interrupted by another call from Steven. He needed a bride’s input. With one last glance at the display, she turned around to join him. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>And so, the night ended with deposits made and instructions left for the tailor. Lapis was frazzled, though she had had a moment to collect herself between all the logistics of wedding planning while she had been exiled to the bakery next door. Steven was insisting that her and Peridot wouldn’t be seeing each other’s wedding outfits, and he would be keeping them safe and away from prying eyes until the last possible moment on the morning of the wedding, thank you very much. Lapis found this both old-fashioned and a little mean. While Peridot had always dressed a little more formally than Lapis, she’d never seen her in a suit before. She wanted to know what it was like. </p>
<p>It seemed like Steven and Connie were just as worn out. There were yawns coming from the back seat. Looking back, she spotted Connie’s head resting on Steven’s shoulder. Lapis wondered when he had gotten taller than her. </p>
<p>“What else will we have to pick out?” Lapis asked, fearing the answer.</p>
<p>“And pay for,” Peridot groaned. Since Lapis had quit her job at the country club to finish the rest of her degree as a full time student, Peridot was bearing the brunt of the wedding expenses. Lapis gave herself another reminder to lavish her poor fiancée with as much financial support and gifts as possible post-graduation.</p>
<p>“We have only just begun,” Steven said ominously. It was a credit to his sleepiness that he didn’t begin an enumerated list.</p>
<p>Lapis shuddered as they pulled up to Connie’s house. Steven always insisted on walking home from here. He said he didn’t want to bother them for the ride the rest of the way home, but Lapis had the notion he just didn’t want to feel rushed while he kissed her goodbye at the doorstep.</p>
<p>“Last stop,” Peridot announced.</p>
<p>“Thank you for the ride,” Steven said, as he always did, and then, “and for the surprise! And for the everything. I love you guys.” He leaned forward to give them both a shoulder squeeze, and then climbed out of the car.</p>
<p>For a moment, Connie stayed behind, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “I…” she began, and then changed her tone. “Thank you. And congratulations!” She slid out of the car into the darkening evening. </p>
<p>Before Lapis could wonder out loud what was going on with their young friend, Peridot spoke.</p>
<p>“What color is your dress?”</p>
<p>Lapis’s lips quirked into a smile despite her misgivings. “Excuse me, I am under a strict nondisclosure agreement.”</p>
<p>“Well, I know it isn’t white...”</p>
<p>“Wow! Are you implying–”</p>
<p>“I’m implying you’re a loose woman!”</p>
<p>Lapis smirked with self-satisfaction. “Well, who’s fault is that?”</p>
<p>“Do not blame me for your premarital sins, temptress.”</p>
<p>Lapis snuggled into Peridot’s shoulder while she drove, “I blame you. And I’ll blame you for the marital ones too.”</p>
<p>Peridot laughed. “Wouldn’t it no longer be a sin after the wedding?”</p>
<p>“It will absolutely be sinful. Don't lack imagination." </p>
<p>Peridot stroked her knee with a free hand. “Don’t distract me with imaginings while I’m driving.” </p>
<p>Lapis grinned to herself and let the conversation fall into what she called ‘long term relationship silence’, comfortable and calm. </p>
<p>“Blue.”</p>
<p>“Hm?” Peridot said, having been focused on the road in the quiet.</p>
<p>“My dress is blue.”</p>
<p>“Predictable.”</p>
<p>“Ass. What color is your suit?”</p>
<p>Peridot said nothing. </p>
<p>“Oh!” Lapis sat up. “That is so not fair!”</p>
<p>All she got out of Peridot after that was laughter. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Steven had kept the couple far too busy in the next few weeks for Lapis to remember that she was concerned about Connie’s strange behavior on the day of their announcement. Though they were keeping the ceremony and reception as simple and inexpensive as possible, there was still a long list of things to figure out. Chairs, napkins, invites… (Steven had gently told them he was redoing their first attempt at the invite, there simply wasn’t enough glitter.) There were so many small details that had to come together in time. </p>
<p>Lapis groaned from where she lay in her trusty bean bag chair, enjoying a small respite. She wished they had come up with this plan just a little sooner. Unfortunately, they couldn’t push the wedding back much further to give themselves more time, since Steven, Connie, and Lapis would all be busy attending classes after the summer was over, meaning a fall wedding was off the table. Ugh. College was a mistake. </p>
<p>A knock at the door interrupted Lapis’s private grousing. </p>
<p>“Who is it?” Peridot called, making her way to the front door.</p>
<p>“It’s Connie.”</p>
<p>The concern she had from before came flooding back. They rarely saw Connie without Steven in tow, and, when they did, she always announced herself with a polite phone call beforehand. Lapis got to her feet, hovering anxiously while Peridot opened the door. </p>
<p>“Connie? Is everything okay?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, everything's fine!” Connie assured them. Her wringing hands made Lapis doubt the sentiment. “I was just wondering if I could ask you guys something?”</p>
<p>Peridot glanced at Lapis fretfully and led Connie to the kitchen table. Lapis pulled up her own chair to join them.</p>
<p>“Well, you see, I had this idea,” Connie explained, not looking directly at either of them. “I was thinking about how… you know how I start college next fall? I’ll be going out of town, and I’m really excited because I got into one of my favorite schools! But it’s so far away, and me and Steven…”</p>
<p>“You’re worried about you and Steven?” Lapis asked, feeling dread like icy water running down her spine. Oh god, if she was breaking up with him, it would crush him. Her heart squeezed.</p>
<p>“No, I mean, yes, but not in a bad way! Like,” Connie took a breath. “We knew I’d probably go out of state for college, and we had a plan that we’d stay together the whole time, and that when I got back, and we were both graduated, we’d move in together, and get engaged, and all that, you know?”</p>
<p>Lapis and Peridot nodded in unison. They’d been hearing about Steven and Connie’s ‘official and very romantic life plan’ from the boy since before he finished high school. </p>
<p>“Well, I know Steven hasn’t said it out loud, but I know he’s worried about me being so far away. He doesn’t think I’ll cheat on him, or anything bad like that! I just know he’s anxious we’ll drift apart, or something.”</p>
<p>Lapis thought she was going to shatter the arms of her chair if Connie didn’t get to the point soon enough. What was she trying to say?</p>
<p>“I was just thinking, I want him to know that even though I’m going away, I’m not going anywhere, right?”</p>
<p>They both nodded again.</p>
<p>“So I was wondering, and, of course, I don’t want to take away from your day or anything, so feel free to say no, but I know Steven would think this is wonderful, so if you wouldn’t mind–”</p>
<p>“What is it?” Peridot interrupted, showing she was just as on edge as Lapis.</p>
<p>Connie took a moment to breathe, and then, finally, shakily asked:</p>
<p>“Can I ask Steven to marry me at your wedding reception?”</p>
<p>There was a moment of stunned silence when Connie finally looked up to meet their eyes, flushing nearly crimson. </p>
<p>Then Peridot jumped out of her chair.</p>
<p>“What? Yes, absolutely! Right, Lapis? Absolutely!”</p>
<p>“Yes! Oh my gosh!” All the tension left Lapis’s body and was replaced with surprised delight. The pair of them pulled the poor girl into a group hug while she somehow blushed even harder. </p>
<p>“Do you think he’ll say yes?” Connie murmured.</p>
<p>“Honey, Steven is going to say yes. Over and over again. Until you beg him to stop.”</p>
<p>“You really think so?”</p>
<p>“Definitely,” Peridot chimed in. “Oh my gosh! How are you going to do it?”</p>
<p>A small smile spread across Connie’s face. “Okay, this has to be a secret, of course, but I have some ideas!”</p>
<p>They released her so they could look at her with delighted excitement. “Tell us everything.”</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>The plan had turned out so perfect that Lapis stopped wishing they had more time, and started wishing that the wedding was tomorrow. But there were essential pre-wedding rituals they had yet to attend. And today was the day for that most infamous of rituals before the filing of joint taxes.</p>
<p>The bachelorette parties. </p>
<p>“I promise to bring her back in one piece!” Bismuth cheered, man-handling Peridot out the door of the apartment. “Mostly!” Lapis waved goodbye to the two of them while Peridot winced under some rowdy back slaps. </p>
<p>Bismuth was the new hire that replaced Lapis at her old position on the country club’s landscaping team. Lapis had almost been a little jealous of this objectively attractive woman spending so much time with her fiancée, but Bismuth turned out to be the most charmingly trustworthy person she’d ever met. The three of them had quickly become inseparable friends. Bismuth was only attending Peridot’s party, and not Lapis’s, because of the results of a coin flip. Their work friends had won the honor of haranguing the poor smaller woman in the name of prenuptial debauchery. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, Lapis was in the custody of their friends from the retired improv troupe, along with Steven and Connie. They should be arriving any second now…</p>
<p>Sudden, frantic knocking, seemingly from multiple hands, announced their arrival. A chorus of voices started shouting Lapis’s name.</p>
<p>Lapis undid the lock and was hit with an avalanche of friends. She found herself pulled into a chattering group hug. </p>
<p>“I’m so proud of ya, sugar plum!” Barb said over the din as Lapis was lifted bodily off the ground by Mr. Smiley. </p>
<p>A surprising lump of emotion choked Lapis’s throat, making her ‘thank you’ come out quieter than she intended. This troupe of friends had been in her life for almost five years now, and had done nothing but supply unwavering support and occasional worldly wisdom. She was so grateful to have them. </p>
<p>“Ready to celebrate the end of singledom?” Jamie sang. Steven bounced up and down behind him in excitement, practically hovering off the floor.</p>
<p>Lapis cleared her throat and nodded. “I’m ready. Though… where are we going?” It was meant to be a surprise, but after drinking and all associated activities were crossed off the list due to a tea-totaling bride and two underage youths in their party, the traditional options were pretty much off the table. Lapis had no idea.</p>
<p>Connie and Steven giggled. An evil glint appeared in Barb and Smiley’s eyes. Jamie and Frowny both just looked sort of nervous. </p>
<p>“Today, Lapis, you must earn your right to marry our dear friend Peridot, and show that you are strong enough to protect such a small and helpless member of our family.” Barb announced.</p>
<p>“Uhm,” Lapis said, looking around for help. All she received were a few ominous smiles. </p>
<p>“Indeed, on this day, we engage in a sacred ritual. The ritual… of battle!” Smiley boomed. Steven played a lightning-strike sound effect behind him. </p>
<p>The bride-to-be gave the performance three stars. They could have flickered the lights on and off, at least. “Meaning?” She asked. </p>
<p>Jamie coughed and looked at her pointedly. Everyone else waited expectantly. </p>
<p>Oh yeah, improv.</p>
<p>“I will rise to this challenge,” Lapis said, making her voice sound dramatic. “I will anoint myself with the blood of my enemies, and only then will I have become a warrior honored enough to take Peridot as my wife!” </p>
<p>The group cheered.</p>
<p>“Name the battlefield, comrades, and I will surely triumph, in the name of love!”</p>
<p>At this, Steven solemnly strove forward and knelt, pulling slightly crumpled papers out of his pocket. As if he was presenting her the ancient scrolls of their people’s faith, he lifted the tickets before her. “Behold.”</p>
<p>Lapis knelt forward to read the hallowed words. “Xtreme Battlezone Paintball Park.”</p>
<p>“... oh.”</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Groans issued from the bodies lying around her, nursing welts from paintballs and skinned knees from sliding on the trampled dirt of the well-loved battlefield. Lapis rose, placing one foot upon a stack of old pallets that served as cover among other pieces of garbage and stripped junker cars. “Show yourself, coward!” She called out, egging on the final member of the other team to take a shot and reveal their hiding spot.</p>
<p>“I’d rather not!” They warbled. Lapis recognized the voice as the teen she had sniped right in the ribs during one of the previous rounds. It sounded like that one had hurt.</p>
<p>“Fine, here I come, then.”</p>
<p>“Nooo!” They whined. Lapis rolled to another spot of cover, closer to the sound of the teen’s voice. She had the taste of blood now. Victory was so close, and all she had to do was wound one more child. </p>
<p>“Lapis…” a voice moaned. The honored bachelorette turned to the side where Jamie lay just outside the chalky out-of-bounds line, rubbing at a trail of paint-covered welts on his arm. “Lapis, why… why are you so good at this game?”</p>
<p>She gazed at her fallen brother-at-arms. “I dunno. The repressed aggression buried deep within my soul?”</p>
<p>Jamie nodded. “That makes sense. You wanna go get dinner after this round?”</p>
<p>“Oh, sure.” </p>
<p>“Cool,” Jamie replied. “Oh, and, avenge me!” He crowed, remembering that they were in the middle of a very serious rite of passage.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, Jamie, I will.”</p>
<p>Five minutes later, Lapis had successfully hit her opponent with a ball of paint launched out of a tube by compressed air. The kid yelped. Lapis laughed maniacally. The day had been won.</p>
<p>“Comrades!” She called to her friends. They stood up from their places at the sidelines or wandered back from the nearby vending machine near the ticket booth. “I have defeated the enemy! Have I pleased the troupe? Have I won the rights to Peridot’s hand in marriage?”</p>
<p>Her friends looked at one another. One by one, each dirty, paint smeared face nodded to Barb.</p>
<p>“You have pleased the troupe,” Barb announced. “And so the marriage has been blessed by the gods of war. To the victor, the spoils!”</p>
<p>A chorus of hollering finished off the ritual. Lapis posed with her paintball gun held aloft, breathing in the scent of paint and metal. The bachelorette party… was complete.</p>
<p>“Congratulations,” said the teen.</p>
<p>Lapis lowered her weapon. “Oh, thanks.”</p>
<p>“Are you, uh, gonna go again?”</p>
<p>She laughed. “Don’t worry, we’re probably gonna go get pizza now.”</p>
<p>“Feast for the champions!” Connie yelled. “Rah!”</p>
<p>“Rah!” The rest of the troupe answered.</p>
<p>The teenager gave Lapis, a 27 year old adult woman, a look of mixed confusion and respect, and limped away.</p>
<p>Lapis smiled. This might just have to be her new favorite hobby. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Goodbyes had been said, a shower had been taken, and wounds had been nursed. Lapis settled down to do just a little reading before bed, musing to herself that it was a good thing that the wedding was just far enough away she might be free of welts before she had to walk down the aisle in a wedding dress. Which was also a bit of a shame, because that meant she couldn’t go again anytime soon. She doubted she could convince the improv troupe to be regulars with her, but maybe some of the folks from her old work would enjoy it? Delighted, she imagined the imposing group of warriors Bismuth and a few landscapers would be. They would be feared all over the county.</p>
<p>Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.</p>
<p>Puzzled, Lapis got up to answer. Behind the door was Bismuth, looking apologetic, holding Peridot upright with an arm around her shoulders. “Sorry Lapis, I know the plan was for Peridot to sleep off the hangover in a hotel room, but she was pretty insistent–”</p>
<p>“Take me to my bride!” Peridot slurred, punching at Bismuth’s side with uncoordinated fists. Bismuth didn’t seem to notice. </p>
<p>“Oh boy,” Lapis said, smiling to herself. She rarely ever saw Peridot this inebriated. “I’ll take it from here, Biz.”</p>
<p>Bismuth handed off the short woman with a hearty laugh and a salute. Peridot fell into Lapis’s arms and smushed her face against her chest, mumbling something incomprehensible. Lapis patted her head.</p>
<p>“What have you done to her, fiend?”</p>
<p>“Gotta go!” Bismuth said, dashing away, down the stairs. “Can’t wait for the wedding!”</p>
<p>Lapis rolled her eyes and steered a tottering Peridot inside and to their bed. She balanced her upright with one hand, and did her best to take off her shoes and belt with another, so that the party-goer could sleep semi-comfortably. “Have a good night, dove?”</p>
<p>“You’re a good night, dove,” Peridot murmured, blinking drowsily. </p>
<p>“Charmer,” Lapis chuckled. She tried to lay her down but Peridot grabbed at her shoulders to stop her.</p>
<p>“No, don’t go,” she said, sounding as if Lapis was about to cross the seas, and not at all like she was going to just walk to the other side of the bed for two seconds. </p>
<p>“Fine, drunky,” Lapis said, gently pushing her down with a cross between a cuddle and a tackle. “Better?”</p>
<p>Peridot squeezed her, seemingly unbothered by the somewhat uncomfortable heap they had collapsed into. “Yes, good.” </p>
<p>“So,” Lapis asked, tickling Peridot’s sides a little to make her squirm, “how many strippers were at your party?”</p>
<p>Peridot ineffectually slapped at one of Lapis’s hands. “I don’t think I’m legally allowed to, uhm, confirm or deny the presence or number of strippers at my bachelorette party,” Peridot said, just managing to make that wordy sentence comprehensible through her slurring. </p>
<p>“Aw,” Lapis pouted, “but I wanted to see who got the high score.”</p>
<p>Peridot squawked and tried to mount an attack, but she was both too drunk and too snuggly wrapped in Lapis’s arms to be any kind of threat. Lapis held her until her struggling stopped, and then it was quiet. </p>
<p>For a moment, Lapis thought she had fallen right to sleep, since Peridot was silent for a time, but then she spoke again. “Lapis, we’re getting married!”</p>
<p>“What? No way,” Lapis cooed, stroking Peridot’s dishevelled hair.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Peridot insisted. “We’re gonna be married, and you’re gonna be my wife. That’s crazy!”</p>
<p>“Mhm,” Lapis humored her. </p>
<p>“I’m so proud of you.” </p>
<p>Lapis blinked. That wasn’t the drunk-brained sort of compliment she was expecting. Usually at this point, the deluge of affection turned into ‘observations’ about her body. “... yeah?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Peridot said. She wiggled so she could look Lapis in the eye. “You had all that bad stuff happen, and you worked really hard, and you got better, and you haven’t drank for like, five whole years. That’s amazing.”</p>
<p>The lump in her throat from before the bachelorette party suddenly returned. It was true, she had had over five years of sobriety, with no slip ups. It wasn’t something Lapis thought about much. She still had the occasional craving, and remembered the anniversary of her last drink every time it came around, but Peridot was right. That was something to be proud of.</p>
<p>“And not just the drinking! You don’t get scared so much anymore. I’ve been… I’ve been worried, since we’re getting married, like, for real for real, and I thought that might make you... but you’ve been okay. Like, really okay. You seem happy.” Peridot’s slurred words pitched deeper with emotion. </p>
<p>Lapis tried not to choke up. “I am happy.”</p>
<p>“And,” Peridot sniffled, tears spilling out of her eyes, “And you went back to college!”</p>
<p>Despite herself, Lapis couldn’t help but chuckle quietly. After that list of achievements, the one to make Peridot break was the fact that her fiancée had decided to finish off her academic career. “Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Yeah! You told me you wanted to do that right after we started dating. And you did! You did that thing.” Peridot wiped at her eyes clumsily. “You’re so good.”</p>
<p>“Oh, love,” Lapis said, pulling her close. “You’re so good. I couldn’t ask for a better person.”</p>
<p>“You mean it?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. You know what I'm most proud of? Even though all that stuff you said about me was pretty great, I’ll admit that.”</p>
<p>“What?” Peridot asked with interest.</p>
<p>“I’m proud of myself for deciding to keep you.”</p>
<p>Peridot nuzzled into the top of her head. “Hey, I get partial credit for that, right?”</p>
<p>“Mmmmnope.”</p>
<p>Lapis felt Peridot shift and was sad she didn’t get to see whatever offended face she was likely making. “Well, maybe I’ll take it back then!”</p>
<p>“Are you calling off the wedding, beast?”</p>
<p>“Maybe I am! I’ll make you wait another couple of years. As punishment.”</p>
<p>“You sure about that? Cuz I’m gonna graduate eventually with a horticulture degree. I could come back to the country club as your boss, just to fire you for spurning me.”</p>
<p>The smaller woman gasped. “You would use your educational powers against me?” </p>
<p>“Mwahaha.”</p>
<p>“I should have known.” Peridot considered this for a moment, humming. “You know, if you came back to work as my boss…”</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“... that’d be kinda kinky.”</p>
<p>Lapis used a free pillow to smack her sentimental, wonderful, ridiculous fiancée right in the face. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Today was the day. That one. The one often referred to as ‘the big day’. The day Lapis and Peridot were getting married.</p>
<p>Holy fuck.</p>
<p>“Stop moving!” Steven chided as he applied Lapis’s makeup. She pursed her lips and concentrated on staying still. It worked until Lapis realized she was holding her breath and had to take a moment to gasp for air. </p>
<p>“Lapis!”</p>
<p>“I’m trying, okay?” She whined. “I’m nervous!”</p>
<p>“Shhhh everything’s gonna be okay,” Steven soothed, trying to pat Lapis’s shoulder comfortingly while also holding a mascara brush.</p>
<p>“You don’t know! You’ve never gotten married!”</p>
<p>Steven gave her a patient look. “I know, it’s a big deal, jitters are normal. Just think Garnet thoughts for me.”</p>
<p>Lapis did her best to think wise, slightly British sounding thoughts. ‘Lapis, it's okay to feel nervous about big life events. But try to think of it as an adventure. You’re feeling all these big feelings because you are living. Blah blah blah–’ Well, she did her best. </p>
<p>Her impending mental breakdown was interrupted by a knock at the door. “Can I come in?” It was Connie’s voice. </p>
<p>With a glance at Steven, Lapis answered that she could. Connie walked in, looking sheepish in her teal gown. Her hair was down and styled with curls, a rare look for her. Steven made a strangled noise in Lapis’s ear. </p>
<p>“Hi, Steven. Lapis, can I have a word with you?”</p>
<p>Steven stopped his gawking, cleared his throat, and stood up. “Let me know when you’re done, I’m almost finished,” he said, his voice a few octaves higher than usual. He sidled out of the room and shut the door.</p>
<p>Connie and Lapis exchanged a look, then burst into laughter. </p>
<p>“Oh boy, Connie, I hope Peridot likes my dress half that much.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure she will,” Connie said, blushing. “Are you ready?”</p>
<p>“Are you?” Lapis asked, raising an eyebrow. “I’m not the only one that’s probably nervous.”</p>
<p>“Haha, yeah,” Connie said, fiddling with her small clutch, apparently subconsciously. “You know, if you changed your mind, you can still say no! I’ll understand.”</p>
<p>“Are you kidding? Not a chance.”</p>
<p>Connie looked a little nauseous. Lapis wondered if she was half-hoping the bride would refuse and she could procrastinate. Seeing her friend be just as nervous about the day was more comforting to Lapis than Steven and mind-Garnet’s assurances combined, though, and she was grateful for that. If she wasn’t already helping Connie propose, she would have owed her a favor for giving her a blessed distraction. </p>
<p>“We’re both gonna look great and be great,” Lapis assured her instead.</p>
<p>Connie smiled and nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. You remember the plan and everything?”</p>
<p>“Absolutely.”</p>
<p>“Okay, I thought so, good.” The younger girl bit her lip for a moment. “I didn’t come here to double check, I’m just–” Connie suddenly ran forward and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you!”</p>
<p>Lapis blinked a few times, then wrapped her in a tight hug in return, careful not to smear freshly applied makeup in her hair. “Hey, it’s no thing, you’d do the same for me.”</p>
<p>Connie chuckled and let go, only to squeeze Lapis’s hands. Lapis politely ignored the gleam of extra moisture in the younger girl’s eyes. “Honestly, you’re right, and now I’m a little disappointed. If there’s a single scenario Steven would prefer more than this one, it would have been you guys proposing at his reception.”</p>
<p>Lapis felt herself smile. “Oh no, you’re right. Well, technically, it’s not too late for me to be dramatic and call it off for now.”</p>
<p>Connie gave Lapis a playful punch on the arm. “Don’t you dare!”</p>
<p>She chuckled. “Alright, fine, it’s too late for both of us to flee, then. Deal?”</p>
<p>The younger woman nodded solemnly like a knight receiving orders from her queen. “Deal.”</p>
<p>A soft knock at the door interrupted them before Lapis could think of how to respond in the face of so much earnestness. “Hey, guys?” Steven called. “Not to be rude, but Lapis kind of needs to be ready soon!”</p>
<p>Connie dipped her head apologetically and quickly moved to let Steven inside. “Right, the wedding, can’t be late. See you later, Lapis!”</p>
<p>“See you,” the bride called back as Connie disappeared around the corner and Steven walked in, glancing over his shoulder and looking puzzled. He turned back to Lapis and raised an eyebrow. </p>
<p>“Is Connie okay? I know she’s been nervous about starting college in a few months, but…” </p>
<p>Lapis mustered up the most convincing shrug she could.</p>
<p>Steven looked a little conflicted for a moment, before setting back down into the chair scooched in front of Lapis. “I’ll have to check on her after the wedding.”</p>
<p>Lapis nodded for a split second before Steven scolded her to be still, holding up an eyeliner pen. Lapis decided to go back to concentrating on not fidgeting too much. God damn, an emotionally vulnerable conversation, hiding things from Steven, and dealing with the surreal fact that she was going to be attending her own wedding was a whole lot at once. Despite Peridot’s drunken observation that she had gotten really good about not freaking out, she was definitely feeling the stress. Unfortunately, worrying if you're going to end up having a full blown panic attack during a socially important occasion was a great way to trigger a full blown panic attack during a socially important occasion. </p>
<p>She took a deep breath while moving as little as she possibly could. It was going to be okay, she told herself, through sheer willpower and stubbornness, she was going to be okay. </p>
<p>“Alright, done.” Steven said, bringing her out of her internal pep talk. He leaned back and gave her one last look. “You look great! Are you ready?”</p>
<p>Lapis swallowed as well as she could with a mouth made entirely of cotton. “Yeah, I’m ready.”</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>There was a certain amount of logistics involved in a non-heterosexual wedding that none of them quite expected until they had to sit down to plan it. </p>
<p>Steven’s heart was set on a traditional wedding, and Lapis and Peridot didn’t have a strong attachment to any of the alternatives, so they rolled with that. But then came the decisions. Bismuth and Connie were their only bridesmaids, but they still had to be assigned their sides of the aisle without falling back on stuffy but easy gender segregation.</p>
<p>And then there was the question of who was going to stand at the altar, and who was going to walk up the aisle. The easy answer would have been to have Lapis do the walking, since Peridot, by virtue of not giving many fucks about gender, was the more ‘masculine’ member of the couple. But something about that rubbed Lapis the wrong way; it felt too much like playacting a straight couple, and too little like having a rad gay wedding. And if Lapis was going to have something as typical and socially expected as a wedding, it better be as rad and as gay as possible. </p>
<p>Eventually, they came to a solution. They’d both walk down separate aisles, facing each other, and meet in the middle. Lapis would exit the wing of the country club that bordered the outdoor events courtyard, and Peridot would make her way out of a tasteful tent they had rented for the occasion. Thank goodness for Peridot’s staff discount on all of this. </p>
<p>Though, if they were honest, they probably would have shelled out to have the ceremony here regardless of the cost. Lapis had done a great deal of falling in love with Peridot with dirt from that very courtyard under her nails. And she hadn’t failed to notice when they arrived that a lot of the flowers in the gardens and pots this year happened to be her personal favorites. Most brides would have had to pay a wedding florist for that. What a mysterious, cost-effective coincidence that she would have to ravish Peridot for later. </p>
<p>Lapis went over and over their plan in her head as she tried to peek out of the sheer curtains in the aforementioned wing without getting spotted by any of her guests. She couldn’t tell if this mental wedding exposition was a calming mantra, or a neurotic coping mechanism. Either way, she was on the sixth repetition. </p>
<p>“Three minutes,” the caterer said. Lapis, who wasn’t wearing a watch, had trapped him when he came to deliver the cake so she could have on-the-minute updates. He seemed annoyed, but resigned, as if he was a little too used to strange demands from people in wedding dresses. </p>
<p>“Oh god, oh fuck,” hissed Lapis.</p>
<p>The caterer–Lapis vaguely remembered his name started with an L–tried and failed to stifle a nasal laugh. She tried to turn to him to glare, but she had doubts she was managing to look anything but terrified.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” he said, “it’s just, you don’t have to be so worried, ‘kay?”</p>
<p>“I’m getting married.” Lapis deadpanned, trying to activate the part of herself that could snark a grown man into the fetal position on the floor. </p>
<p>He wasn’t intimidated. “I’ve heard,” he said, after a relaxed smirk, “that the waiting is the hardest part. And that should be over in about... 30 seconds.” The guy tapped the watch he had been glancing at. </p>
<p>“Wh-what?” Lapis choked. He’d distracted her! Where did that 2 minutes and 30 seconds go–</p>
<p>Piano music started in the courtyard. Her cue.</p>
<p>“Oh, Christ!” Lapis whirled toward the door and grabbed a hold of the handle, her mind telling her that her microsecond delay from having to turn around had left Peridot waiting out in the cold, where she was busy assuming Lapis had run away and left her at the altar. Her imagination even added rain, even though she could clearly see the sunshine streaming through the windows. She turned and pushed, half stumbling through the door onto the brick walkway outside. </p>
<p>She froze. Everyone turned to stare as she hovered there, the door behind her swinging closed. Her hands dug into her dress. Despite the warm smiles she could see on the faces, the edges of real panic creeping into her chest as everyone looked and waited. Her eyes moved over the crowd until they settled onto the tent opposite her, its curtained entrance ruffling in the slight breeze. Dimly, she was aware of Steven, standing in his place of honor between her and that opening, smiling like he’d never been more proud. </p>
<p>And then Peridot moved aside the curtain and stepped out.</p>
<p>Lapis gasped. </p>
<p>She watched Peridot mirror her movements from before, gawking nervously at the crowd, all eyes turning to the second member of the couple to make their appearance. Peridot reached back to settle the fabric behind her, an anxious movement more than a necessary one. The shorter woman seemed to steel herself for a moment, flashing a self-conscious smile to their friends in the seats, and flicked her eyes up to finally meet Lapis's.</p>
<p>Oh, wow.</p>
<p>Lapis was all at once no longer nervous. She was no longer much of anything besides delighted and in love. </p>
<p>She didn’t remember deciding to move, but she and Peridot all but ran to the altar. Lapis caught Peridot’s hands and pulled them towards her, laughing in surprise at the deep blue nail polish that colored her short, stubby landscaper's nails. The color, she noticed, matched one of the shades of her vest, which was a swirl of emerald and navy threads, glinting along the edges of a subtle but stunning floral pattern. </p>
<p>The flashy vest had drawn her eye first, but the dark suit itself was nothing to overlook. The tailoring was doing things that were borderline magic, like emphasizing the broad shoulders Peridot had earned through her physical job, while also draping ever so flatteringly off her hips. Lapis turned over Peridot’s hands, watching the green gems on her cuff-links shine as the sunlight hit them. </p>
<p>“Holy smokes,” Peridot breathed, pulling Lapis’s attention back to her face. Another bubble of laughter shook Lapis at the sight of Peridot’s gobsmacked gawking at her dress. It was a simpler ensemble than Peridot’s, but obviously no less effective. But then again, it was hard not to look good in a deep blue, form-fitting dress. </p>
<p>“Ahem,” Steven coughed. Lapis and Peridot both stood up rod straight, suddenly remembering that they were very much in public. Possibly the most in public someone could be, to be honest. Lapis realized the crowd was laughing, and had been for a while, as soon as she returned to reality. Peridot’s blush burned so bright her freckles almost disappeared. </p>
<p>Steven began to speak when the snickers died down (and when Bismuth could stand up again, she had been bent double with laughter). </p>
<p>Peridot shuffled her feet bashfully, but Lapis found it hard to be embarrassed for long. She also found it hard to concentrate very much on what Steven was saying, which was a shame, because she was sure that his speech was beautiful. She’d have to watch a recording later. </p>
<p>“..and now, I’m sure these two both have something to say. Peridot?”</p>
<p>Oh, the vows. </p>
<p>Peridot swallowed and cleared her throat. “Okay. Here goes,” she said, dropping one of Lapis’s hands to fish around in her pocket, pulling out a piece of paper. Lapis peeked, but, unfortunately, the scribbled shorthand was incomprehensible, especially upside down. </p>
<p>“Lapis,” she said, tilting her paper away from her prying eyes with a smirk, “when I started writing these vows, my first idea was to read you the journal entry from when I realized I was in love with you.” Their friends ‘aww’ed. Peridot bit her lip. “So I started reading, trying to find it. Was it on some normal night, watching tv, when I turned to you and suddenly realized how much you meant to me? Was it here, at the country club, watching you learn to love our plants as much as I did? Was it some storybook love-at-first-sight moment in the early days of living together?  Reading back, I couldn’t tell. I couldn’t find that moment to read you, because it didn’t happen all at once.”</p>
<p>Peridot took a breath and a moment to smooth out a wrinkle in the paper. “It was slow, and easy, and inevitable, to the point that I can’t tell when loving you as an amazing person and a friend became loving you as that and so much more. I’ve been so thankful that you shared your life with me these past years, and I can’t wait to see how you continue to change and grow, so I can slowly and inevitably fall in love with every future version of you, too.”</p>
<p>Lapis forgot how to speak.</p>
<p>“Lapis?” Steven asked after a moment. </p>
<p>“Peridot,” Lapis said, remembering her words. She cleared her throat. “I knew there was no way I was going to compete with whatever romantic speech you were going to awe everyone with. So, I won’t even try: I love you, and I’m so happy, and I’m keeping this short so we can get right to the part where I’m your wife.”</p>
<p>Peridot beamed. </p>
<p>“In that case,” Steven cut in, taking that as a cue to wrap it up, “I now pronounce you partners in marriage. Now kiss!”</p>
<p>So they did.</p>
<p>Applause and cheers rang out. Bismuth sobbed quietly behind Peridot. Steven pulled them both into a hug as soon as they broke apart. "Congratulations!" He sang.</p>
<p>"Thank you," was all Lapis could say, "for everything."</p>
<p>"Alright, everybody," Connie announced, taking over while the other maid-of-honor was indisposed at the moment, "the wedding’s over, time to party!"</p>
<p>Peridot held out her arm for Lapis. She took it and was led into the fray of people, all standing up eagerly to hug and congratulate them.</p>
<p>And so began the reception. The post-adrenaline high had Lapis feeling loopy, and so many of the moments felt like a blur of activity and laughter and smiles. The cake was cut and eaten, complete with cake-face-smearing between the couple, and there was dancing, and music, and lots and lots of food. </p>
<p>They really hadn’t paid that caterer what he was worth, that man had talent. And Lapis had to admit, now that she was out of the moment, his distraction and assurance had been pretty valuable to Lapis before she walked the aisle. She hoped that, since he was Steven’s recommendation, that she would get to enjoy his food a second time at the Connverse wedding.</p>
<p>Lapis allowed herself some quiet giddiness at the adorable prospect of a Steven-Connie wedding and the upcoming proposal.</p>
<p>It was then that Lapis noticed an unfamiliar face.</p>
<p>She was short, with long, purple hair, and was currently working on eating two different flavors of cupcakes at once. She guffawed with one of the members of the country club’s turf crew. Lapis squinted. It was true that a few people had brought a plus one, but Lapis had been at least vaguely familiar with everyone here. Was this… a wedding crasher?</p>
<p>“Peridot, do you know who–” Lapis started to ask, pulling the besuited woman aside. She was an avid supporter of sneaking into parties, and would never fault anyone for indulging in free desserts, but she’d like to know if this interloper was a scorned ex or a past enemy or something.</p>
<p>“Amethyst?!” Peridot shouted.</p>
<p>The other woman turned around mid-chew, frosting still smeared on her cheek. She swallowed quickly and broke out into a wide, food-coloring tinged smile. “Hey! Shortstack!”</p>
<p>“Amethyst...” Lapis murmured. The name was very familiar. Suddenly, it dawned on her. “Peridot… is your therapist crashing our wedding?” </p>
<p>The therapist in question had walked up by this time, and was leaning on the table in front of them. “I’m not crashing, I’m coming to enjoy the fruit of my labors. My client turned her life around and got hitched.” She flashed a cheesy grin and some finger guns Lapis’s way. “You’re welcome.”</p>
<p>Peridot laughed nasally. Lapis’s entire mind was boggled. This young, uncouth, and currently sugar-sticky woman was the often praised source of Peridot’s anger management training?</p>
<p>“Wait,” Peridot said, her laughter cutting off abruptly. “Are you, like, allowed to attend a former client’s wedding reception?”</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s allowed, it’s just very, very, very,” Amethyst paused to take a breath, “very frowned upon! Which is why I’m here, and Garnet isn’t.”  </p>
<p>Lapis was once again questioning how this person was the miracle worker Peridot said she was, let alone a licensed therapist in general, when Amethyst’s childish demeanor slipped away and was replaced with a disarming frankness that implied wisdom beyond her years. “But she wants you to know that she’s proud of you, Lapis. And congratulations.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Lapis replied, rather dumbly. </p>
<p>“Thanks, Amethyst,” Peridot said, “for the message. And for showing up.”</p>
<p>“Hey, thanks for proving to everyone I was so good at my job that you ended up being marriage material! Not that I can take all the credit, you started out pretty cool.” Amethyst said. The party-girl flippancy returned, and she gave Lapis an up-and-down glance and a low whistle. “Good job on that one, Peri.” </p>
<p>Lapis really didn’t know how to react in the very specific and unlikely scenario of being called hot by your wife’s mental health professional.</p>
<p>Peridot mumbled and blushed a bit before Amethyst pushed herself up from the table.</p>
<p>“Anyway, I’ve gotten my fill of bending the Code of the Shrinks. My message has been delivered, you two get out of here and go enjoy your big day!”</p>
<p>Peridot smiled and nodded. Lapis blinked a few more times. With a wave, Amethyst disappeared into the crowd, already laughing heartily with more of the landscaping crew members. It was then that Lapis started noticing a certain resemblance…</p>
<p>“Peridot?” Lapis said.</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“I know you haven’t really talked much about your time in therapy before, but I have so, so many questions.”</p>
<p>Peridot hummed and stroked her chin, a grin ruining her pretended seriousness. “Well, I suppose our relationship stat just leveled up. You’ve probably unlocked my tragic backstory by now.”</p>
<p>“I’ve logged a lot of in-game hours, you’re telling me I just got to the juicy stuff?”</p>
<p>She chuckled. “Peridot: The DLC.”</p>
<p>“God, you are a nerd.” </p>
<p>“You find it charming.”</p>
<p>“Shut up,” Lapis said, pulling Peridot into a kiss because she was being charming. She still tasted a little like wedding cake.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Mingling, dancing, and having fancy food was all good and fun, but the couple had one last wedding task to attend to. </p>
<p>Lapis made the last few adjustments to her bouquet, straightening the ribbon, nudging flowers into picture perfect position, etc. With a final look-over, she nodded to her new wife and long-time accomplice. </p>
<p>“Alright, desperate or superstitious singles,” Peridot called, more or less as they had rehearsed, “if you want a chance to join the ranks of the happily married, line up! It’s time for… the bouquet toss!”</p>
<p>The dramatic pose Peridot was striking made Lapis smile. Peridot was a certified dork. Lapis raised the flowers and swayed them back and forth like she was enticing wild animals with a juicy steak. “Come and get it!”</p>
<p>The simile was quite apt. Several wedding-goers scrambled to the empty space in front of Peridot and Lapis, with at least one person jumping chairs along the way to secure a spot in the line up. Steven was swiftly front and center. If Lapis didn’t know any better, the speed at which he manifested would have made her assume he’d been hovering nearby any bouquets and brides in close proximity to each other, just in case.</p>
<p>Satisfied with the size of the crowd, Lapis turned around and covered her eyes. “Who wants it, peasants?” She called, unable to stop herself from basking a little in the power of the situation. There was a jumble of shouts, including a surprisingly desperate plea from Holly Blue, the unlikely and intimidating HR rep that was for seemingly unfathomable reasons adored by the turf crew family and ended up being a collective plus one. </p>
<p>Aw, what a shame that it wasn’t going to turn out like any of them were hoping. </p>
<p>Lapis gave a few feints just to hear the rabble scramble about behind her. Giggling, she braced for the final arc, making a show of slowly stretching her arm forward, readying it for the much awaited toss.</p>
<p>And then she turned around, marched right up to Steven, and put the bouquet directly into his hands.</p>
<p>“Wha?” Steven stammered, looking from Lapis to the bundle of flowers with wide eyes. “What’s? Why didn’t you...?”</p>
<p>“Because, Steven,” Lapis said, putting her hands on his shoulders. “I couldn’t let anybody else catch it.” Behind him, the voices of the rest of the crowd started muttering and gasping. </p>
<p>Steven puzzled over that, trying to catch up. “You already let me be the officiant... I appreciate all the recognition, but I don’t want to get too much special treatment.”</p>
<p>“Steven, the bouquet is for the next person to get married, right?”</p>
<p>“Well, yeah–”</p>
<p>Lapis cut him off before he could further stutter about by spinning him to face the other way.</p>
<p>Where Connie had been waiting, down on one knee. </p>
<p>Steven nearly dropped the flowers.</p>
<p>“Steven,” Connie said, smiling shyly up at him. </p>
<p>He squeaked, holding one hand to his face.</p>
<p>“I know this isn’t the plan,” Connie began, “and that things are going to be different, and maybe harder, now that I’m going out of state for college. But you’re my favorite person, and I think you’re worth fighting for. I think we’re worth fighting for.”</p>
<p>The wedding-goers had formed a circle around them by this point, all listening intently. Connie looked down, away from the eyes and Steven’s shocked expression, trying to force out the next few sentences despite all her jitters.</p>
<p>“I just really wanted to know that, no matter what changes, the way I feel about you isn’t going to. So, what I’m saying is, Steven, will you–”</p>
<p>“Yes!” Steven shouted before Connie could even finish. “Yes! I’d love to marry you!”</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Connie said, blinking up at him, still kneeling on the ground.</p>
<p>“Yes!” Steven cried, tears trailing his face as he pulled her up and into his arms. “Of course, a thousand times, yes!”</p>
<p>With matching tears forming in her eyes, Connie hugged him back as the crowd started clapping.</p>
<p>Lapis looked on, proud of her hand in this, but mostly just proud of Steven and Connie. She had practically watched these silly kids grow up together, and now all four of them were going to be telling this story for the rest of their lives. </p>
<p>It was so strange, she thought, how what Lapis would have sworn was the worst moment of her life, spotting the flashing blue and red lights reflecting off the back of the car she had crashed into after a night of drinking and other terrible decisions, had been the beginning of the story that lead to this moment, surrounded by people that loved her. People who really, really loved her, and chose to have her be part of their important moments, as well as as many of the mundane ones as they could squeeze in. </p>
<p>Lapis felt Peridot’s fingers lace with hers. </p>
<p>“So, wife, I think we did good,” Peridot said, leaning against her shoulder, watching Steven twirl Connie in circles, happily laughing.</p>
<p>“Yeah, dove,” Lapis mused, squeezing her hand. “We really did.”</p>
<p>“What next?” She asked. </p>
<p>“Next?” Lapis mused. “Next, I want to go home…” </p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Turn down the lights... “</p>
<p>Peridot twerked an eyebrow. “Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Mhmm, turn down the lights… and watch some Camp Pining Hearts with a rabbit in my lap.”</p>
<p>“Lapis?”</p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>“This is why I married you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Special thanks to my beta readers, Rndmnwierd, Kiwi, and Nijuu, and thank you everyone who gave me such an incredible outpouring of support for Pyhy. You are all incredible and I'm grateful every day to be a part of the Lapidot community!</p>
<p>A fun fact: thanks to the research I did for this fic, I am now a ordained minister. Hit me up if you want me to perform your wedding.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>